When You’re Not Ready to Let Go

Hey, my friend. Have you ever had someone tell you that it’s time to let go?

Maybe they didn’t say it quite that directly. Maybe it sounded more like, “You need to move forward.” Or, “You can’t keep carrying this.” Or even, “You just need to give it to God.”

And maybe they meant it kindly. Maybe they were even right.

But what if you’re not ready?

I think there are some things in life that we know, at least eventually, we’re going to have to release. A person we’ve lost. A dream that didn’t come true. A relationship that changed. A version of ourselves that we miss. The hope that something will turn out differently.

And yet, knowing that we may eventually need to let go doesn’t mean we’re ready to do it today.

The Need to Grieve

Sometimes we’re still grieving. Sometimes we’re still angry. Sometimes we’re still trying to understand what happened. And sometimes, if we’re really honest, we’re afraid of what letting go would mean.

Because what if letting go means admitting that it’s really over? What if it means giving up hope? What if it feels like leaving someone behind? What if forgiving feels like saying that what happened was okay? What if moving forward feels like abandoning the person you used to be?

I think we can put an awful lot of pressure on ourselves to get somewhere emotionally before we’ve actually had the time and space to grieve.

We’re supposed to accept what happened, forgive, move forward, find the lesson. We’re supposed to tell the story and be able to say, “Look what God taught me through all of this.”

And those things can be good. But they don’t always happen quickly. And they don’t always happen on our timeline.

Letting Go vs. Getting Over It

I’ve been thinking about the difference between being invited to let go and being pressured to get over it. Those aren’t necessarily the same thing.

There may come a time when God asks us to release something. But that doesn’t mean we need to rush ourselves there.

And I think we see something of this in the way Jesus responds to grief. Think about the story of Lazarus. Jesus knows what He’s about to do. He knows Lazarus will be raised.

And yet when He encounters Mary and the others grieving, He doesn’t say, “Don’t worry. This is all going to work out.” He weeps. He enters into their sorrow. He allows their grief to be real even though He knows the end of the story.

I find that incredibly comforting. Because sometimes I think we assume that if we trust God, we shouldn’t feel so deeply about what we’ve lost. As though faith means we should be able to release things more easily.

But Jesus doesn’t seem to treat grief that way. He isn’t afraid of tears. He isn’t impatient with sorrow. And He certainly isn’t uncomfortable with the unfinished places in people’s stories.

So perhaps the invitation isn’t always, “Let go.” Sometimes it might simply be, “Bring it to Me.”

Bring Me the anger. Bring Me the disappointment. Bring Me the hope you’re afraid to surrender. Bring Me the thing you don’t understand. Bring Me the part of your story you’re still grieving. Bring Me the fact that you’re not ready.

Be Honest with God

I think that’s one of the beautiful things about journaling with God. Your journal doesn’t have to be the place where you figure everything out. It can be the place where you tell the truth.

You can write, God, I’m not ready to let go of this. You can write about why. You can admit what you’re afraid letting go would mean. And you can simply sit there with God.

You don’t have to force a conclusion. You don’t have to make yourself ready. You can let the conversation be unfinished.

And perhaps, over time, God will show you what needs to be released and what simply needs to be grieved. Because those are different things, aren’t they?

Sometimes what we call “holding on” is actually grieving. Sometimes we aren’t refusing to move forward. We’re just still hurting.

And sometimes what we’re holding onto isn’t the thing itself, but what it represents. A sense of safety. A possibility. A relationship. A piece of our identity. A hope for the future. A sense of justice. A connection to the past.

Journal Prompts

That’s why I don’t think the answer is always to tell ourselves, “I just need to let go.” Maybe the gentler question is: What am I actually holding onto?

And then: What would letting go mean to me?

And perhaps most importantly: God, what do You want me to know about this?

Not necessarily, What do You want me to do? Just, What do You want me to know? Because there is a difference between saying, “I need to let this go,” and saying, “God, I’m willing to let You show me what releasing this might look like.”

The second prayer leaves room for relationship. It leaves room for timing. It leaves room for God. And it doesn’t require you to pretend you’re somewhere you’re not.

So if you’re carrying something today that you’re not ready to release, I wonder if you could give yourself permission to be honest about that. Not forever. Not necessarily even for very long. Just today.

You don’t have to pretend that you’re ready. You can tell God, I’m not ready. And maybe that’s not the end of your conversation with Him. Maybe that’s where it begins.

Prayer

God, You know the things we are holding. You know the losses we haven’t fully grieved, the hopes we aren’t ready to surrender, the anger we don’t know what to do with, and the parts of our stories we wish were different. Thank You that we don’t have to hide any of this from You.

Help us to be honest. Help us to trust that You are not impatient with us. And when You are inviting us to release something, give us the grace to trust You with it—in Your timing and in Your way. For today, meet us right where we are. Be present with us in the places that still hurt. And remind us that You are not afraid of our unfinished hearts. Amen.

My friend, you may not need to let go today. Perhaps today you simply need to stop hiding the fact that you’re holding on. Bring that truth to God. And let Him meet you there.

I’ll see you next time.

RELATED EPISODES:

• Episode 210: God’s Grace for the Roads You Regret
• Episode 203: How to Sit with Hard Feelings Without Letting Them Take Over
• Episode 198: How to Tell the Difference Between Healing and Avoiding